The My Chauffeur Airporter Story

In 1998. they began with not a lot more than a daydream and tolerable appearance. How did these two Portland boy's grow to be the greatest airporter barons in the world?

Philip "Dig" Colby and Antoine Sekonius had been classmates for a while. They always wanted to start a venture together. Something unusual and exciting that would work with the extraordinary Portland business environment. Something for the history books.

After a lot of searching under boulders, bourbons, and assorted chemises, they discovered what they were searching for... Airporters!

Dig with his stunningly gifted business acumen, and Antoine with his apparently continuous stream of acquaintances, set out to conquer PDX.

After an encounter with some Jesters and flute players, they were ready to set up shop in the "underbelly" of Portland --- the Northeast!! There was only one dilemma, neither Dig nor Antoine had ever done airporters before!

So they left for the sunny San Francisco suburb of Napa, California, where they met up with some airporter masters, and learned about airporters from the ground up. These grisly old airporter masters knew how to do it and were hardly agreeable to hand over their secrets at first. But the charisma and tolerable looks of our champions in time won over the airporter masters, and the secrets were revealed to them.  We were surprised when one of them said, 'hey Antoine, strap this one on' referring to the 'exotic' bottled water carrying tote bag used to transfer the water & soda's from one limo to another.  Oh California... one of the secrets of the trade, and it was a good laugh.

They learned a lot: like how to turn corners, about ac-celeration and the proper handling of the sparkling wine flute for those special airporter occasions.  Also the intricacies of the gradual slow-down, and when and when not to use such phrases as 'Hedonistic and round, characteristically developed' when referring to the airporter limo.  And countless other tricks of the trade were now in the brains, hands, and notepad of Dig and Antoine. They returned to Portland amusing the locals with tales of Arnold Schwarzenegger busting up an airporter chauffeur and saying 'If it bleeds, we can kill it." and 'I'll be back!!'; a Banaban documentary on Hindu Television featuring My Chauffeur; and the foolish, crazy times in Napa Valley -- opera singers, ventriloquists, Burgundian Aristocrats, a guy who somehow kept a bunch of plates spinning atop a wooden pole, Chinese acrobats, and dogs who climbed ladders. Oh California... Portland learned of these tricks and My Chauffeur soon became the best airporter company in the world, Madre mía!!!

So after flying in some 'Manchu’s bark/Cinchona' potions from down south, attaining the 'bricks and mortar' of their trade, the boys started playing around with their techniques that soon became known locally, nationally, and global!

Now 11 years later, folks are chatting about My Chauffeur Airporter in Somaliland and Samoa Island.  China has some trendy people wearing the latest My Chauffeur bikinis, and companions have shared a My Chauffeur airporter tale or two off the Ivory Coast and Senegal of all places!  I'm sure some parts of the world have yet to be infiltrated. Stay watching!

1. What are the ancient airporter techniques?

2. 'Dynamic' Airporters!

3. Chauffeurs of our Company.

4. What makes our chauffeur's so priceless?

5. What is Airporter Terroir?

6. And the concept of a Airporter Vigneron of all things.

^{illustration by David Dees;  the preceding story is fictional, and any similarity to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.}